Let me begin by saying I was warned by a few friends that this mid season finale was extremely confusing. Lucky for me, they gave me a recap of the most recent episodes in the “previously on Pretty Little Liars…” bit. The episode then really starts with Hannah, Aria and Spencer sitting in a police station covered in dirt (which I’m sure they’ll get to later, as these writers do a great job of explaining things), and a familiar face comes in to tell them they’re “going down.” Except, I don’t think I have seen this character since early season one and by midway through the second season I truly have no idea who he is. Given the nature of this show, I am sure you can understand why I lost this character along the twists and turns of a beyond fictional unrealistic plot. Clearly the writers had the intention of making this a very intense scene, but I spent the whole time trying to figure out who he was and completely missed what he was saying. I’m gonna go ahead and assume that most of the other viewers did too, so well done writers, really dropped the ball on that one.
I know we previously discussed how annoying of a human being Spencer Hastings is…but I am beginning to have a very serious problem with Mya (Emily’s first of many unrealistically hot lesbian girlfriends). Does she know how to speak at normal volumes or is she a seductive whisper only kind of girl?
Flash to Spencer and Toby who are discussing if they had a real baby, what would it look like? First of all…a real baby? As opposed to what? A fake baby? Yeah, there’s only one kind of baby Toby. Second of all, I will tell you what this baby would look like. Not the “newborn with a 6-pack” that Spencer has in mind. I’m thinking more along the lines of a cross between a centaur and a mousey looking female. Something like this perhaps?
Side note...who in their right mind would do this to a picture of their child???
ABC Family is really going to have to stop showing pictures of creepy women or choose a new photographer. I just finished seeing the Lying Game’s photo of the MJ look-a-like mom from last night every time I closed my eyes and now I have that awful mug shot looking photo of Dr. Sullivan that was sent to Aria via text. These pictures are scarring. Naturally once Aria shows the other girls the message, they also get a LARGE box delivered and automatically assume that Dr. Sullivan’s ear is inside. Yeah, I’m sure that’s what is inside that box.
Not only could they have been less wrong about what was in the box, but the writers took this opportunity to introduce yet another outrageous way this fictional (not physically possible) character of A decided to rule their life. In which once again, they mindlessly obey, instead of hmm, i don’t know – telling their parents, the police, their mailman, actually any number of options come to mind. At this point, I don’t even remember what A is ultimately holding over them. The whole thing is so unreasonably far-fetched. But back to the point at hand, if you receive a doll in the mail that looks like you and tells you to do something and you unquestionably do it, SEEK HELP.
Wait, but actually we have now experienced three or four shows in the last week that are time jumping. This episode we went from the present, to twelve hours earlier, to ten hours earlier (aka you could have just let it continue, no time jump needed), to the present, to six hours earlier and this was all in the first 20 minutes. Time jumping makes your already confusing and ridiculous show even MORE confusing and ridiculous. And aside from myself and a small group of friends, the average viewing age of this show must be about 13. Let’s dumb this show down a bit for the masses. I don’t watch this show because I think there writing is intellectual or for time-bending forms of cliffhangers. Be true to yourself, Pretty Little Liars.
I would like to also point out to the writers that there could have been over 100 possible digs that Caleb could have made to Hannah’s new step sister in defense of Hannah. The fact that you had him say “you should know it gives you back fat” only made him gay. Once again, I can’t even focus on what is actually going on because you have in some way distracted me with offensiveness.
I want you to know that I had to step away during the writing of this post. Because with ten minutes left of the episode, Emily questionably dies and is greeted by an angelic looking Allison in some alternate universe who sits there and strokes Emily’s hair. When Emily asks who A is, Allison says THE MOST OFFENSIVE THING YET. “I can’t tell you, because only two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.” In case you were confused, yes those are the lyrics to the opening song. Again, writers we have a problem. You are only midway through season two, this is NOT the time to play with alternate universes or get bored of writing dialogue. Get it together.
I actually am very excited because I now know what happens when you “die.” You get to choose whether you want to die and know some secrets or go back to Earth and live. That’s pretty cool and super realistic right? Emily chose to live, shocker.
So I know that Spencer is supposed to be smart, but come on, I doubt someone in high school is able to find a specific spot in the woods based on some latitude and longitude coordinates given to you on a shovel. And what town is this based off of that there are “woods” everywhere? Literally, everywhere. So convenient that they were able to find this so-called town that is scattered among a national forest to film in and base a show off of.
It was also probably pretty smart for Jenna and Garrett to discuss killing Allison and planting that note on Jason so he thought he did it in the wide open police station. But hey what do I know? For those of you concerned that this was the end of the mystery of who killed Allison and who A is…I can almost guarantee my life that it isn’t. Especially since I get to choose life or death, I am comfortable with putting my life on the line for this.
I was going to say unfortunately this is the last episode of this show for a while that I will get to review. But actually I would now like to change that to fortunately this is the last episode for a while that I will get to review because truthfully I don’t know if I could handle another episode so soon. I can only imagine that the “Halloween Special” on October 19th will give me another dose of outrageousness big enough to hold me over until the show returns in early 2012.
Wait, seriously. Who OK'd this? 