Revenge Pilot…what happens once everyone is revenged?

I would love any attempt at explaining the significance of this poster. Seriously. Other than suggesting a very airbrushed version of Emily VanCamp perched on large birds' nest, I've got nothing.

I can’t believe I have to say this about yet ANOTHER pilot…. but TIME JUMPING is not OK!  It’s a bad idea 4 seasons in, and an even worse idea the very first episode when you don’t even know the premise of the show.  As of first commercial break, I have nooo idea what’s going on, what time period this is set in, who these characters are, or anyones name (except for Emily VanCamp who lamely is named Emily).  I did notice that Eric Van Der Woodsen has been working out since he jumped ship from GG.  And I’ve gathered something about infinity and the Hamptons… How hard is it to set up storyline these days?

Why does she have so much money? Also for once, I’m going to praise the sound director, the tones in music are the only way I can tell if something serious is about to happen.  By the way, it took me like 40 minutes to figure out that she used to be Amanda, and only NOW is Emily.  So confusing,

Haahah at one point she slyly takes a picture with her phone while talking on it… yeah right.  Why do they include unrealistic, unnecessary actions like that, yet can go 50 minutes for explaining the motive behind the entire show.  Who does that??

AHHH FINALLY.  and then Josh Bowman comes into the picture.  I immediately like this show and while continue watching because he is THAT attractive.

So upon final evaluation, it literally took until the last 3 minutes for 90 percent of the main storyline to makes sense.  How hard would it have been to explain the whole Dad/revenge against the Hamptons from the get go?  Hey moviemakers, feel free to NOT take artistic liberties with television, stick to the guaranteed formulas (i.e. teens + pregnancy + irrational drama = 4 seasons of GOLD) I mean maybe I’m the idiot here, but I just don’t understand how a show can be so perplexing.  And there was virtually no dialogue, just ominous music and serious looks. Every single aspect of the show was only half-thought through.

Wait, I’m dying.  Are you serious???  Emily VanCamp circa getting out of juvi/jail is quite possibly one of the most hilarious sequence of styling and acting.  Who came up with that?  And clearly her acting range isn’t wide.. she should stick to the silent brooding character that she has perfected over her years on Everwood.

Tagged

One thought on “Revenge Pilot…what happens once everyone is revenged?

  1. bweissler says:

    I don’t know if this is true, but I heard the premise was a remake teen/drama of the Count of Monte Cristo. So, if you know that story and take the bare minimum from that, this probably makes a little bit of sense.

    What to know about that: Man is poor and is betrayed by his best friend. Best friend steals girlfriend and locks man in an “inescapable” prison for a long time. Man learns a bunch of stuff since he has nothing else to do. Man escapes. Man finds treasure on an island and declares himself the Count of said island. Man takes his money and sets up intricate plots to fuck with all the people who’ve wronged him.

    Also, the writer was paid by the word so the book is painfully long. Like, the abridged version is still around 900 words. So, the one thing we can assume if this is a rip-off of Dumas’ work, is that it’s going to long and confusing.

Leave a comment