S5E14 Secret Life: This Was a Mistake

Please forgive me as I missed the first 12 minutes of the episode, hopefully I’ll be able to catch up…. sooo starting with Grace and Adrienne fighting about how it’s too late for Grace to go to MedCamp.

Grant and Jack’s conversation as ‘buddies’ was strange enough, but then Jack creepily taking the opportunity to … take pleasure or whatever it was he was doing in solitude in Grace’s bedroom — I don’t even know if lying bed alone is weird, but he DEFINITELY it so.

Is “Kathleen” WASTED? I take it back – i’m already confused.  Why is this call so inappropriate?  I mean is she an alcoholic? Who gets so wasted at the airport that they can’t remember why they inappropriately decided to call their teenage daughter’s ex-college age boyfriend?  I’ll also use this opportunity to question these LAME college guys who put with their drama.

Who’s in charge of craft services over at Secret Life?  I think someone needs to make sure Ben isn’t sneaking his food away in napkins, because there’s no way he’s eating it or anything. in the past 3 months. he’s SEVERELY underfed, which ironic because considering his genes i wouldn’t think that would be an issue.

Because I try to keep this blog fairly PG to PG-13 (i mean, considering only those 13 and under actually watch these shows i’m talking about) I can’t fully explain how uncomfortable and leading the comment “access a computer, and I’ll access your ass” is………………………………… yeah, but then Ben thinks that means spanking? unfortunately, compared to what came to MY mind, I hope he means spanking. All in all, writers, try harder next time. I think for a teenage show, “access a computer, and I’ll spank you” reads just as well.

OMG – did mother of bland red head who i don’t know READ our blog in between these scenes???  I couldn’t have described Ben more accurately if I tried.  Bravo, overbearing-fat-mama.  He indeed does look like he’s been using the cocaine or the crack.  Because that was so awesome, these TERRIBLE acting/anti-drug PSA will escape my radar for now.

Am I confused about the timeline?  Didn’t Ben and redhead meet less than a week ago?  Where is this ill-founded sense of a relationship?

GG Nominee Shailene’s hair looks better on this show than it did through an entire awards season.  Why was that such a struggle?  Remember that time 3 days ago when you were BEGGING Ricky to get married?  Why are you suddenly acting like a father and teenage daughter?  What a weird start to an engagement….

I just have to say tonight, in choosing to watch this, I made a mistake.

Driver/Security Guard/Babysitter for a high school senior? hmm that’s appropriate.

This marijuana drug plot line sparked a debate between my friend and I as to whether it was more or less annoying than Dixon’s — The fact that they are comparable is a lose lose for both, but feel free to weigh in.

And now I’m SOOO uncomfortable.  Ricky’s delinquent foster brother or whatever’s aggressive complimenting/hitting on of Madison is so awkward. Who wrote that??  I have second-hand embarrassment for anyone who had to listen to that child say that to Madison.

Were the creators so desperate for ideas that they forced this unrealistic plot line where everyone would be in summer school? That doesn’t happen??  This is really taken a turn for the worse. I’m so upset. The entire classroom scene is so offensive that I don’t even know where to start. And you don’t get detention for TALKING to classmates in a room where the teacher isn’t even present.

Aww Jack, you are the only one I like right now. But in true prolonged teen drama tv series, he gets rejected.  Grace must have like these overwhelming pheromones that make all these boys look IDIOTIC trying to impress her. It’s so bizarre, because she literally couldn’t be more rude to all of them.

I have to refrain from commenting on the rest of the episode because thinking about how annoying it is makes me angry (specifically the Ben/father scene about living without pot or something and the fake ‘joke’ GG Nom Shailene played on Ricky)  But I would like to point out, the biggest fundamental flaw I’m having with the decision makers on this show right now.  Ricky as a a bad boy? Yes. Ben? NOOOOOOO. He’s the WORST bad boy on television, he literally always looks like he’s on his way home from Bible school.  Even when he’s talking about his ‘indiscretions’ I feel like he’s quoting a movie.  He couldn’t be less convincing.

S5E13 Secret Life: Andddd it’s back.

So I decided there was no show more appropriate to make my big return back to this blog than Secret Life of the American Teenager featuring GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE Shailene Woodley.  Now since I actually have a job (hence my long absence), and it involves awards season here in LA – I’ve been forced to witness Hollywood’s misconstrued perception of the actress who portrayed George Clooney’s daughter in “The Descendants”… Because apparently NO ONE has seen the past 4 years of “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” That, or gave her a second chance (actually make like 20 second chances) and continued to make her a part of the festivities. So ignoring any serious critiques of her acting of any kinds, my biggest problem was this was her wardrobe and glam choices. I don’t even know where to start, but I will let you know that i went to some might say – extreme- measures to identify her stylist in order to ensure that no one i know would ever associate.  Again, I could write a whole post questioning the team behind this girl who all felt it okay for her to (just to list a few):

1. Go on a red carpet barefoot (ew.)

2. Wear 5-finger (toes) shoes (double ew.)

3. Continually (and inappropriately) wear a bun in her hair like a grandmother (however judging from her stint as Amy Juergens, might have been strategic since she literally can never stop touching her hair)

Or wear THIS to biggest premiere of the year

For further evidence of her offensive parade through award season, please see below slideshow.

http://abcfamily.go.com/site/style/photos-details/secret-life-red-carpet-shailene-woodley/888933/935193

ALRIGHT. Now that that’s out of the way. Let’s start watching!

Why must they recap the ENTIRE last season?  just give highlights from the finale.  That’s all that matters. I’m already bored and annoyed.

Who is homely redhead? I already hate her…. wow. and her mom. And if my parents were this invasive of my phone calls when I was in high school, I would have thrown myself out my bedroom window. Parent listening in on both sides of the convo?? RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE. you are both doomed.

Good thing they didn’t think about changing the theme song or awkward cartoon flowers.. i would have missed that…

Is something wrong with the sound on my television, or is she purposely talking in that annoying baby voice?  She sounds EXACTLY like Cassie Scerbo from Make It or Break It (which isn’t great for you readers, bc I was planning on blogging about that next, but i honestly canNOT listen to a voice like that for 2 hours straight… I’m only human.

Grace is such a slut-bag. But in other news, I’m still offended by this loser college guy who puts up with Grace. OMG. ADRIENNE CALLED 27 TIMES? ZERO GUYS, let alone college guys, would think TWICE about a girl who calls him 27 TIMES. but seriously – jokes aside. that’s not real.

ABC Family (aside from having to rewind to decide my thoughts on BUNHEADS -still TBD) you can’t just throw an entirely new crew at me. I’m already dealing with new homely redhead girl (which isn’t looking favorable) but then you introduce typical sidekicks including wanna-be Emma Robert, girl of questionable ethnic backgrounds, and spunky Asian who dies her hair pink. So much stereotype, so little time to accept.

ohhh wait i get it, they’re saving money – Alice is playing BOTH Asian parts.

FINALLY, a reasonable and normal reaction – I mean Ben’s reaction to creeper new girl showing up at his house asking why he canceled her date.  My face looks like Ben’s did in that moment during this entire show.

I’m also confused about how timing is working on this show. Ricky and GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE Shailene Woodley, got engaged, went to a lake party, slept together, did who-knows-what all day, and THEN that night goes to their parents to talk about the engagement (I’m referring to the awkward overly personal and TMI graduation speech of Rickys) ?  Seriously? Even adults who LIKE their parents wouldn’t waste that long.  Much less underage high school students.

YESSSSS – I was concerned they might replace toddler John with a competent baby, but LUCKILY, mute baby John is back. He’s still my favorite.  Somehow he is the only sane character on the show.

Oh no, I don’t know if I can continue watching… that “proposal” of Ricky’s somehow led GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE Shailene Woodley to conclude that she now”loves herself”?????? And upon confessing this to her mother (who should have an appalled reaction) Molly Ringwald over here not only agrees, but admits she TOO would like to “love herself” . I’m done. I made a mistake. I actually can’t watch this show.

OHHHH and ASHLEY brings me back.  YES, I COMPLETELY AGREE. Ricky proposed to you at graduation on stage? HOW EMBARRASSING?  I knew I liked Ashley for a reason.  Okay teenage mother, please be the one to judge your sister’s choice in college. That’s reasonable

NOTE to teenagers: if you psychotically show up on a guy’s doorstep who canceled your date with your ‘crew’, he will NOT in fact be excited to see you much less invite you for a tour of his bedroom with 3 crew members in tow… I just want to set the record straight for the impressionable young minds out there.  And “Alice” don’t act so surprised, you’ve already been in this room before.  OH, and FINALLY after 4 seasons we’ve moved past the alcohol/babies/marriage triumvirate of life lessons, and only NOW do we embrace the subject of drugs… and by drugs I mean weed.

Grace somehow found a way to blame to her mom for Daniel ditching her and her dad being dead… wait and now there is another awkward Jack and Grace’s mom scene – I’m still not convinced they haven’t hooked up…

I would just like to point out that I literally knew ONE person who went to summer school while in high school…  I mean I don’t understand why the creators feel the need to center a summer around going to summer school when these kids don’t ever spend any time in class ever anyways!!

Anddd of course, those fat parents walk in accusing the kids of smoking pot, as if they even knowwhat pot smells like.  And then the previews promise a season of outrageous behavior as if pot is as meth.  (gateway drugssss.) Thank you Secret Life.  My life has be way too reasonable without you.  And thank YOU, GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINEE Shailene Woodley, for still being on this incredible insignificant show, and your nomination remaining incredibly insignificant.

XX

Secret Life S4E13: This cannot be real…

There will be no videos or pictures attached to this post because I am so upset that I refuse to make it look nice.

Last week I posted a quick note to let you know that I did in fact watch the season finale of Secret Life, but that I couldn’t yet review it because it was THAT not OK.  I thought I had endured a lot of ridiculousness in my time given the fact that I watch almost anything and everything on TV, but really nothing could have prepared me for the hour (well actually more because I had to keep pausing due to unbearable spouts of uncomfortableness) of my life that ABC Family ruined with the finale of season four.  Anyway, I am now ready to review this monstrosity of an episode. Within the first ten seconds I am already in pain.  Grace asks Jack what they are talking about in the huddle if they aren’t praying, and we flash to a bunch of fake high school football players discussing that they are all in love with Grace.  They claim that if they don’t talk about Grace before the game, they lose.  Are you kidding me?  I get that Jack is a big pansy and won’t make a move on Grace, but really?  The entire team? Even the gay guy? I can’t fathom this concept because it would NEVER happen.  Because the one guy to mention how much he loves this girl in a team huddle would get his ass kicked by his own teammates. Also, just to speak logistics, why are there only seven people on this football team?  And sadly, that’s the least of their concerns.  I’m also very much not okay with the person who took artistic liberty with the upward angle shot.  Sucks to be the camera man at the bottom/in the middle of that huddle.

And then there’s Amy and Ricky. I was upset I didn’t have much to say about them last week, but fear not, this week i have PLENTY. Amy hears John (the mute child) say “ring.” Because naturally Ricky confided in his 2 year old son about proposing to Amy.  The next day at school Amy takes the word she thinks she heard her mute 2 year old say and runs to tell Madison and Lauren that Ricky is going to propose to her.  Come on Amy, you ask “why would he keep saying ring if he didn’t know something?”  Answer: I don’t know, maybe because he’s two years old and doesn’t even know what that word means?! This is the most outlandish leap the writers have ever created.  Good to know though that babies know all and the next time I hear an infant mutter a word, he is predicting the future.

One good thing that as a five year watcher of this show, you can tell it is the season finale because they are trying to throw any and all possible “cliff-hangers.”  For the record, Ricky saying “bye” and Adrienne responding “you’re gonna regret this,” is in NO way suspenseful.  Also Jack’s heartfelt conversation with the coach, I am NOT okay with it.  For two grown men pretending to play younger roles, it is highly inappropriate for one to tell the other one he loves him-especially after hours alone in the school.  Lastly Jack, how are you in high school for like eight years and yet that “last day” really snuck up on you?

I have no idea what the plot line is between the other members in Grace’s family but I am going to guess that Jack is hooking up with the mom, based on the fact that she’s always in the kitchen looking seductive and pretending to cook and past story lines.

Dear Tom, guys who refer to themselves as “grown ass men” are not.

I fast forward through the Ben/Adrienne conversations because I don’t know what they could possibly be talking about.  What I do know, is that Ben needs to eat a sandwich – or 12 of them.

Again, it was not creative or artistic to have Ricky start his speech in the empty hallway.  With that said, they are all being filmed in empty hallways, how are they not running into one another? There are only like 14 of them that attend this school, as we find out in…

This scene – where the graduating class is the size of my family. The reasoning behind how Ricky is mysteriously valedictorian makes slightly more sense as the graduation procession begins and ends after maybe 20 people walk through.  Yep, that’s it.   I can’t even understand this bizarre, fertile, incestuous high school that is actually is a fake public school with an unrealistically small student population.  Does anyone check accuracy or consistency in this show? hahah Who am I kidding? Okay, I actually can’t even begin to describe the ‘graduation speech’ that Ricky gives and Jack’s ‘prayer.’ And really, POPULAR?  What do you mean he is one of the most popular students?  What kind of educator deems kids popular??  And if I had any say in it, the lame jock who can’t make a move on his younger ex-girlfriend is in no way popular, I don’t care whose terms you are referring to.  Anyway, I suggest you watch it and then read all the many thoughts that occurred to me as I watched it.  (Also I want to be selfish for those of you who don’t watch it and make as many people as possible be forced to witness what I suffered through).  Here it goes:

What the hell is the governor’s award that this random educator is giving to Ricky??  For outstanding personal achievement in the face of challenge?? What is this personal achievement?  He has a kid, was on the drum line and slept with half the school – actually now that I see the size of the school, he has definitely slept with the whole school except Madison and Lauren, because come on who is that desperate?  Is that the achievement? So we’re condoning sex now? K, got it.  Really all I’m getting from this is that if you have a kid while in high school you will be rewarded. I’m also not really sure what kind of stupid GPA scale they are using, but are you kidding me that the valedictorian had a 4.2??? School officials should NOT brag about that.

The following is a list of my thoughts referring to the overly emotional way too personal word vomit otherwise known as Ricky’s graduation speech. I can’t think of a less inspiring graduation speech than one beginning in kindergarten and describing a sexually abused child’s thoughts (I mean yes, this is sad, but not the time or place).  I am pretty sure the definition of a graduation speech is an uplifting, inspiring, series of sentences and quotes spoken at a graduation ceremony (if this isn’t the literal definition, then it is the most widely accepted one.)  I would think the valedictorian would know this, but clearly he does not. When he is done talking about his awful childhood, he goes on to give ‘shout-outs’ to graduating classmates that weirdly have never appeared in four seasons of this show.  So in other words, I am pretty sure they are just seat fillers. Not to mention that these people he is talking to have no idea what he is talking about.  His creepy smiling throughout the speech is like he is enjoying the discomfort he is forcing upon everyone in the audience, except his mom who is clearly drunk.  I lost what he was trying to say with all those analogies about being “one ____ in a larger _____” we get it. I would like to give special acknowledgement to this gem “we are all part of humankind.”  Yes Ricky we are all humans.  Wise words from the valedictorian – he is so smart! My thoughts as he thanks Amy: No no no no no no no no noooooooooo no no no nooooo no no no no no no no no (John is again my favorite character as he has fallen asleep through this horrid speech). NO NO NO THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN AT HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATIONS (the proposal). I’m also going to give a shout out to Adrienne about to slap a bitch as Ricky gets down on one knee and Jack having to hold her back.  Okay and wait, then they are graduated?  The music plays AS Amy accepts the proposal..no diplomas, no names being called, no shaking of hands, no walking anywhere…just a marriage proposal and an unbelievably personal and uncomfortable speech.  This is not even close to a normal sequence of events, and I am 100 percent certain these writers did not graduate from anything. ever. So once I suffered through that 90 minute speech, i was dismayed to find I still had another 20 minutes of this show – only to realize it was the elusive, never happens in real life, totally absurd GRADUATION PARTY!!!

Lets start with this…the dancing. The crew of three gay guys – Griffin, guy who is ‘new’ at being gay, and gay guy #3 with some serious tude- What are those moves?  Griffin is body rolling, new gay guy is bobbing awkwardly, and gay guy #3 with attitude is busting out some dance move challenges in the form of convulsions. I watched it five times because I was so fascinated/entertained/rolling on the floor laughing that I still don’t know what was going on but I wish I had been there. As far as Grace is concerned, I know that acting is difficult for them – but even that appears better than when they are directed to dance and act at once.  Grace can’t do it.  Also this guy can not be the person we keep referring to as “mature older guy” who can’t keep count of his high school girlfriends (the ex shows up at the ‘party’). And yes we are judging you for being at that party.  Did this party have a uniform? Because all the guys are wearing flannels with rolled up sleeves showing a different color flannel – original costume designers… , let’s begin with good riddance daniel. I am glad you have come to your senses and decided to leave. Then we have the set up kiss between Ricky and Adrienne. That everyone watches, including Amy. If this is supposed to be some monumental end to the annoyance that is the Adrienne/Ricky situation, it couldn’t have been a worse attempt this is so stupid.

Adrienne you are so pathetic please don’t come back to this show.  You and Ben go have fat-lipped babies who need to eat sandwiches and just do not come back.

Fast forward to the end (I couldn’t watch the ‘dancing’ anymore), where we are left with a series of cliff hangers, ALL of them dealing with a whole bunch of friends sleeping with each other.  Lauren, I am horrified too.  I actually feel you on this one.  Finding my highly attractive boyfriend (that I’m actually not sure how you got in the first place) in bed with THAT. And her only excuse is “I didn’t mean to sleep with him, I couldn’t help it.” To all of my friends – if one of you EVER sleeps with my boyfriend and the only excuse you can come up with is “I couldn’t help myself,” don’t even bother trying to say that to me.  (To clarify my standards – I would never actually have a friend like Madison, but in the case of some crazy mishap of judgement…these are my thoughts.) Several things happened in the last three minutes of this show and I am going to ignore them all until the next season of this show (I cannot believe there is actually going to be another season).  But, congratulations Jack you have finally stepped up in the LAMEST move ever, but at least it was something.

And then finally, there couldn’t be a more perfect ending scene to this show than after all that, and Lauren’s boyfriend cheats on her and she wants to go home, Amy and Ricky decide to have a talk on the hood of their car about how awesome their lives are while Lauren sits crying in the backseat and then they proceed to make out until the credits roll.  WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???

My apologies…

The season finale of The Secret Life of the American Teenager will not be blogged about tonight for the sole reason that Ricky Underwood’s valedictorian speech made me shiver with second-hand embarrassment for a whole ten minutes. And don’t get me started on the “party.”  I am still so uncomfortable that I cannot discuss what was shown on television tonight.  Stay tuned for later this week when I have recovered and am able to relive this offensiveness.  Soooo awkward.

Secret Life S4E12: And the Official Most Hated Character Is…

I tuned out the first 8 minutes while Amy and her 2 friends are trying to convince their parents or live-in boyfriend to go to some stupid over-night graduation party with the entire senior class at a ranch somewhere that doesn’t exist in real life.

It’s truly unbelievable the way these fathers are hounding their teens about drinking at a graduation party when there are already two pregnant and married friends.  Priorities people.

About Jack’s choice of wardrobe.. or lack there of… How awkward is it that he wears fitted hoodies without shirts underneath?  It makes me highly uncomfortable.  They’re those thin ones, too so its really noticeable you have no shirt on.

I never want to hear Adrienne, or any other fake teen on television, say “I WILL make love to you again.” That’s it. No exceptions. EVER.

It’s with a heavy heart and much internal debate, that I announce that Beverly Mitchell is officially the most hated character on this show.  She brings a whole new meaning to Adults in These Shows.  Furthermore, really 20 years of 7th Heaven wasn’t enough for you?  You had to bring your melodramatic, annoying acting abilities to Secret Life.  Side note: Are you actually supposed to be the same character from 7th Heaven?  Because you look the same and i have NO idea what your name is on this show (however, I was incredibly disappointed when your name was not Ms. Mcgillicuddy, as Adrienne had thought)

I have a serious problem with how “mature” they are portraying this Daniel character. For the record being in college does not make you more mature, especially if you’re seeking out a junior in high school to date.  And Grace, he doesn’t have his own “apartment” he has a DORM.

So now that we’ve established that Beverly Mitchell is in fact Lucy Camden 10 years older and a guidance counselor, when she brings Ricky in to tell him he needs to write a speech, he looks at her in confusion.  And rightfully so, because who would have EVER thought Ricky could possibly be valedictorian or anything even close.  Never ever even in a school with 2 people would the delinquent teen father be the valedictorian.  With that said, there is no such thing as “ending up with the highest scores” Lucy.  There is no valedictorian test.

Beverly Mitchell’s next task as guidance counselor is her concern that Jack is sad about leaving high school. Well, I think it’s about time considering he is 27 years old.

There is not any existent world in which a man would be not only okay, but excited, about his ex wife’s potential interest in his daughter’s baby’s dad’s lesbian recovering alcoholic mother.  Are you kidding that I even just had to write that?  What kind of sick writers are we dealing with here? And why are these actors okay portraying these roles?

So now I understand why the writers have kept Ricky as the always angry, upset and brooding character because it is unbelievably awkward every time we see him laugh/smile/be happy.  It happened at least three times in this episode.  Soon after one of these times…this happened: 

Just so you know, I have never related to a Secret Life character as much as I did to John in this moment of seeing his teen parents making out like fools while Ricky smiles in between. Due to this, I stopped being able to review this episode.  Don’t worry, nothing happened.  In fact, literally nothing happened and the episode just ended.  Hey writers have you ever heard of: closing an episode? The term cliffhanger often comes to mind, especially when you want to entice viewers to watch the season finale you have going on next week.  Just a thought.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Starring Molly Ringwald and Shailene Woodley...? really? just those two?

Secret Life of the American Teenager is a unique situation as it is in its fourth season.  Here is the summary according to IMDB: “A look at the relationship between teenagers” (no, seriously, that’s actually what it says)

There are so many things to be said about every scene of every episode of this show that cannot be addressed due to time constraints and that I do have a bit of a life (and I do NOT say this lightly) so we are just going to start from this episode forward.

Having said that…minute one, scene one.  Looks like someone (Madison) got a boob job during her three-episode absence. Hey ABC Family, if you don’t want people to know that your “17 year old” actress got a boob job in her spare time, I suggest putting her in looser, higher cut tops…aka turtlenecks.  Much like those worn by Allison’s “mom” on Teen Wolf.

Madison - Before

Madison - After

In an attempt to have a fun Monday night, we decided to play “drink every time someone says marry, married or marriage.”  Within the first 2 minutes of this episode we drank five or six times which leads me to my next issue – why is ABC Family suggesting that this many 17 year olds should be getting married.  As previously mentioned, it is important to note that this is an incredibly fertile group of incestuous teenage friends.

Normally, Ricky is the least cheesy/most reasonable teen on this show, the “fairytale” he tells his son John (I question the motor skills of this child due to his lack of words or emotion in most episodes, but that is another issue) is truly disturbing to someone above the age of 20.  So much so, that I can’t imagine what this 2-year old is thinking when his dad says this right before bed as seen in the video below that was clearly created with added scenes and music by some unlucky viewer who is probably scarred for life from this tale.

According to Lauren in a scene with her boyfriend Jesse (who is back to the original actor that played him – Austin Stowell), we find out that not only do these impressionable teens think they should be loved (see The L Word), but now they are also defining the motives behind the use of it.  Instead of the “real” I love you being said and meant by most 16-17 year olds, Lauren accuses Jesse of using it to “get in her pants,” unlike most teenage boys.  Naturally, she takes hers back.

I realized this show is gold and unbelievably degrading to all high schoolers both girls and guys when this scene took place.  Jack calls Madison, who he recently dumped because he is in love with Grace, to ask her to accompany him to graduation.  Jack continues to tell Madison that he is in love with Grace but he is too embarrassed to ask Grace and her current boyfriend to come with him so hey, let’s just go as friends?  Madison agrees.  This brought up a lot of questions for me.  First of all, who brings DATES to graduation?  That is definitely not a thing.  Second, Madison’s boob job clearly isn’t working out for her because Jack still isn’t interested and would rather hang out with Grace and her college boyfriend.  I can’t describe exactly what I felt during this phone call from Jack to Madison…but it can most closely be defined as Second-Hand Embarrassment.

For the record, I am choosing to ignore the Adrian/Dante situation as she really is just so offensive in this setting.

Ben’s father is having some relationship problems of his own, so naturally like most Adults in These Shows he chooses to take his three failed marriages to his 17 year old son who is going through a divorce a loss of a child, common to most of my guy friends growing up.  I am also going to ignore the plot line with the Asian friends because four seasons later, I still don’t know their names.  Definition of peripheral characters.

Note: don’t worry, Secret Life has also managed to incorporate their share of HOT lesbians…the abundance that ABC Family has created just does not exist, I’m sorry.

Molly Ringwald.  Adults in These Shows . Enough said.

The thing is, if I continued to go on about the offensiveness of this show, I would have 10 pages written for each scene.  I have already spent the majority of this hour cringing with Second-Hand Embarrassment of all the minor characters and wasn’t able to say anything about my favorite predictable TV couple: Amy and Ricky.  Don’t worry, I am sure next week when Ricky is supposed to propose to Amy on the magical night of graduation, someone will mess it up and we will be right back where we started.  Obviously ABC Family did not learn from the Meredith/Derek saga on Grey’s Anatomy…it’s getting old.