What is that sitting on top of Joey Lawrence's head? Cause it isn't hair...
Sitcoms are usually hard for me to review being that they often tend to make fun of themselves and they’re 22 minutes of silly laughs. Rest assured, I had no problem reviewing this time around. I actually wasn’t ever going to watch this show, but then I saw a preview with something that was GOLD…I’ll get to that later.
Melissa and Joey is a very kind name given to this show. Because if I were naming it, I would call it “Two Washed Up Actors Who Had Awesome Shows as Teens Come Together for Idiocy”. For those of you who don’t know why I would name it this, here is why. Melissa Joan Hart starred on two great shows called Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Clarissa Explains It All. And Joey Lawrence was on Blossom, which actually I’m not entirely sure what that was about but I watched it everyday and followed the life of that sad girl with the big nose and her brother that always said WHOA. Those shows are what these two SHOULD have been remembered for. But because their representatives, families, friends, consciences all OK’d them to do this piece of offensive television, I will forever remember them as “Melissa and Joey” and not for my childhood after school entertainment. IMDB couldn’t provide me with enough background to fully comprehend the epic proportions of stupid this show is about, so I went to Wikipedia where I found this: “The series follows local politician Mel (Melissa Joan Hart) and Joe Longo (Joey Lawrence), whom Mel hires to look after her niece and nephew after a Ponzi scheme leaves him broke.” So let me get this straight…a politician hires a financial criminal to take the position of “manny” for her teenage niece and nephew who, I found out by watching, are old enough to babysit themselves…WHO OK’D THIS!?
I mean, I think it is safe to say there are some really stupid plot lines on television at the moment (and I thank everyone for that otherwise I’d have no blog), but come on people, this takes the cake. Following the summary, I find this: “The series has been renewed by ABC Family for a second season.” Seriously. I’m not kidding anymore, WHO OK’D THIS?! And even more so, who is watching this enough to give someone the sense to renew it??? It’s not like they even have a good lead-in or a good following show…the show that is alongside this one is the Raven Symone one that was only created because she is skinny now. It can’t be good and I definitely will not watch it.
Then at the beginning of every episode we get a “this show is filmed in front of a live studio audience” announcement. At least they aren’t using a laugh track like some other shows. With that said, the people who are laughing must have either been given some drinks or drugs or that laughing gas they give you when you go to the dentist, because this show is NOT funny and yet, I hear laughter.
I have to admit, I pretty much ignored the whole beginning of the episode because I couldn’t past the concept of this show, interrupted by the offensive laughing and the fact that these two are using shortened their own first names for their characters. Then something caught my eye. Kappy, from Greek appeared at the door…riding a bike…with flashers clipped to the bottom of his pants. For those of you who don’t know, Greek was also an ABC Family show that recently ended due to the lack of ideas for a story line, the fact that people can only realistically stay in college for so long (see Adults playing teens), and Spencer Grammer’s pregnancy. I happened to love Kappy, until now. Where in an attempt to make him look younger, ABC Family had him grow his hair far too long and told him not to shower three months prior to filming. Oh, because the premise of this episode is that Melissa wants to date Kappy who is supposed to be much younger than her.
I literally cannot talk about the scenes that surround the side story lines of the niece and nephew, neither of which I know their names or what their deal is, nor do I care. So I’m back to a scene between “George Junior (Kappy)” and “Joe Longo (Joey Lawrence)” where Kappy presents Joey with a napkin from Chili’s with a financial plan on it and would like the ponzi scheme specialist to help him out. Normally when I need help with my finances, I find the least eligible person to help me out.
Then Melissa comes down the stairs to tell Joey some boring sentimental speech about how she likes Kappy even though he’s younger and blah blah blah. Obviously I ignored that dumb speech because I am distracted at the wardrobe/hair/make up people’s attempt to have Melissa look younger. They have her dressed in one of those hot pink puffy vests with the fur hood over a tight white turtle neck and curled pig tails. Note to all of you people: this is NOT how you make people look younger. Kappy looks dirty and Melissa looks stupid. Neither of them look like a 24 or 32 year old. This is your job, that you get paid for. And this is why you are working on Melissa and Joey and not an actual show- just so you know.
There isn’t too much more to say because while the overriding plot line is unbelievably stupid, nothing really happens in each episode. Normally I would say this is going to be my first and last episode because I don’t think I can watch this show again, but I have recently been informed there is some sort of “Lawrence brothers reunion” that takes place on some episode so as soon as I find it, you can be sure to expect a review (otherwise known as a list of reasons this show and more specifically, episode should have never been made.)
Wait, seriously. Who OK'd this? 