Animal Practice

So it was pretty rough to even force myself to watch this one in the first place.  This pilot takes me back to last year and the creation of this blog when I really just have to take a step back and ask, WHO OK’D THIS???  And this year I kept up with the news throughout pilot season, and I’m aware of the ones that didn’t make it; and I can’t speak for the quality of ones that weren’t picked up in the final stage, but I can strongly question the people who ordered this pilot to be made in the first place!!  Based on plot summary alone, I could have told you — THIS ISN’T YOUR WINNER.  Honestly the review for this is brief because it was just so bad that I couldn’t even find the words.  Plus there is just so much going on, it’s hard to really zero on each problem.

Let’s start with some initial thoughts about the cast. IS that the mom from Sister Sister?  I’m sorry, the monkey is called Dr. Rizzo?  Is the monkey supposed to be like a psych patient who thinks it works there, or is it a pet? OR is everyone there crazy and think that it’s okay to be talking to a monkey like it’s an employee??

And then we meet Joanna Garcia, or DOROTHY???  I can confidently say that Dorothy is a name that hit it’s peak circa Wizard of Oz and  has almost become completely extinct.  Literally.  I don’t a single person named Dorothy.  The last person i did know was my great-grandmother and she died.  Let’s leave well enough alone and not start bringing it back.  It’s distracting.

At least we have the token diverse character (awkward Asian who listens to Cats the Musical)

I just noticed that main guy (who I will just call Andy because I can only think of Weeds when I look at him) seems to have a tint of auburn in his hair…. and Joanna Garcia’s hair is back to a dark auburn as well… weird coincidence? or effort to teach the world to mainstream the ginger population….

Either way, he’s trying to pull off a House-like character, like overly mean and sour.. it’s a little uncomfortable because the other doctors are just so lame that it’s like awkward bullying.

Also, I’m no expert on doctor apparel, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that doctors or hospital personal do not wear 5 inch heels for work. Take note, wardrobe.

There was potentially a good dig in there about Arbys until it turned out that it was actually a weird sort of promotion? Not sure about..

Overall, this show greatly confuses me.  It is supposed to be a comedy? Or is it more of a drama (a la Grey’s Anatomy for animals)?  Do hospitals for pets designed exactly designed like that really even exist?  And I still can’t determine whether the creators of the show are trying to over-dramatize the pet doctors in a hyperbolic fashion, or if they just think that’s how it is. Don’t really care to tune again to find out.

The New Girl Pilot

Guy on the left was NOT in the pilot.. awkward

Attention: Spoiler Alert

To start, I am fairly certain that Damon Wayans Jr. is not the only similarity that this show has to Happy Endings on ABC.  It appears throughout the episode that they may actually share a set, some editors and possibly even a few writers.

Let’s just say that I spent 97% of this episode experiencing extreme Second Hand Embarrassment, but I’m pretty sure that is the intent of this completely bizarre television show.. so mission accomplished?

Zooey Deschanel literally brings a new meaning to the definition of awkward, one that surpasses normal expectations.  Her character is supposed to be a quirky loser who just got dumped, but she didn’t need to be so over the top that the audience is in physical agony as she sings her thoughts, attempts to pole dance on a tree, showers in a one-piece, and tries to pick up guys in visible granny panties by calling them “sailor,” repeatedly.

Then there’s the issue of the confusing NOT gay roommate.  Yeah… I’m not really sure… He could potentially be coming out in later episodes, but as of now, his awkwardly douchey being is just confusing.  I had a hard time focusing on anything but his wardrobe while other things were going on starting with the TIGHT light blue v-neck sweater, followed by what I’m pretty sure were a pair of WOMEN’S running shorts (I actually think I own those), then that bright pink tie with the light pink shirt (at least the writer’s had the good nature of making fun of it during one scene) and ending with that awful “western” costume, although no one else besides the girl dressed as an Indian with the boobs was in such an obvious costume for the questionably themed party.  Also, did the director of this episode happen to see the actors before shooting?  I ask this because it seems that they could have sent this character to the tanning salon a few times before having him remove his shirt over and over again.

I liked Coach, too bad he’s leaving due to first commitment on another show (FYI he will be replaced (in an awkward fashion I’m sure) with a different black actor).  I question his name being Coach…that seems like a lazy decision on the behalf the writers who seemed to stop thinking through numerous ideas throughout the show.

Third roommate, another recently dumped oddball seems to mature a bit throughout the episode and I don’t hate him, however I wonder if his stylist knew that there were other options besides that maroon zip up hoodie for the first half of the episode.

Still don’t really know any of their names, except Jess (Zooey) because of her awkward theme song that is forever branded in my brain (interestingly enough it’s also the theme song.. somebody must have wanted to save some money there).

Bonus points for the “Douche Jar,” that might be an addition to my apartment soon.

Also in closing, beware of the flashback to Jess’s teen years, I’m still trying to forget it.

Stay tuned for updates on this show as I am anxiously waiting to see how many more ways they can make me cringe.