90210 Season 4 Finale: More Poor Decisions.. Surprise

It took me so long to be able to watch the season finale of 90210 because I was scarred from the last time I had to blog about this show.

Anddddddd this is why. The intro scene having “Call Me Maybe” in the background. Well, at least if nothing else, the show is semi-topical and played that song this season while it is all the rage and didn’t wait until next season. Not sure that it is needed though…incredibly distracting actually. This song could not fit less in this moment. I really cannot understand why they are playing this…and why it is being played for a solid five minutes.

Another super distracting thing…Robert Hoffman quoting the bible. Sorry…misquoting. The bible doesn’t say you need to help illegal immigrants.

So “Ade” went viral? What does that term even mean anymore? 500 people seeing it definitely does not mean you “went viral.” You really can’t go viral unless Ellen DeGeneres and tutus are involved these days. Whatever THAT video is…definitely did not go viral.

Matt Lanter’s pink lips/cheeks are guding me away from staring at his greasy/wet hair plastered to his head.

UGHHHHHHH and we’re back to Silver and her “I want to have a baby before the non-existent cancer takes over my life” thing. No Navid, you don’t just decide you’re going to have a baby with someone. Weren’t you in a fight last time I checked? I am so confused – the fact checkers must have left for hiatus early.

ADRIANA HAS A FAN?!??!?! Congrats. Just one. This must be part of her whole “gone viral” thing. Thank you for the advice Liam – not to let the weird fans bother you. I forgot that you had all this epic fame from that horrible movie.  Even if you have a few fans…you most definitely do not have a paparazzi problem.  Not to mention, this fake paparazzi issue you are pretending to have is in no way a segway to discuss whatever completely irrational and outrageous not real life problem you have going on with Silver.

NO NAVID. NO WAY. NO N ON NO NO NO. The seductive music. The low voice. You SAYING you are being sexy. NONE of those things are sexy. omg I have to look away before I projectile vomit on my computer. Then the awkwardness of the conversation about them getting back together. Whoa. So let me get this straight. Silver wants to have a baby, no strings attached, with one of the two guys who are in love with her…umm okay. WHO OK’D THAT?? Thinking that you can use an ex-boyfriend to give you a no strings attached child means you are absolutely not old enough to be having a child in the first place.

Please note that there are certain lines like “How many pairs of shoes did you buy, GIRL?” that I am choosing to completely ignore because once again, I can’t write about everything.

I wish I had the ability to bounce back from relationships like Naomi does. Last I checked…she was in love with Austin so kicked Max to the curb. Not sure where Austin went, but she didn’t care, she found PJ, who later screwed her over because he used her to get his trust fund by trying to MARRY her, and then were back to Max, without even so much as addressing her previous pretty serious relationships with Austin and PJ..oh and Austin is back…just an FYI.

This church event to support white Raj’s amnesty. How are there THIS many people who care enough about this illegal immigrant? You know in Texas they just shoot them? Apparently in LA they make posters and congregate at a church while having some sort of fair. Since I already decided the fact checkers took their vacation early I am going to ignore the rest of this story line. For now.

At least someone is on the same page as me. Thank you Austin, I too don’t ever want to hear the phrase “baby-making sex” again.

Oh Liam invites press places? Weird…I didn’t know fake celebrities knew members of the media after one failed movie. Oh wait, they don’t.

I don’t even know how to address the bing commercial that was placed in the middle of this show to promote BING, a search engine never used, on top of Jessica Lowndes’s music career. Oh and her EYEBROWS – clearly a make up artist trying out some new brow pencils.

Ivy I know you think you are already married to this kid because you think he is Raj and you haven’t realized that Raj is dead. I know this is confusing for you because he is white Raj, or apparently Mexican Raj.

Also just a note to all the young viewers out there since 90210 is sending you SO many wrong messages in this episode…I just want to clarify that having a “no strings attached baby” with your ex boyfriend or best friend, both who are in love with you, or marrying your way out of a legal problem are not viable life options in a normal setting…or any setting for that matter. This came later, but I am going to address it now. Also not having a baby with your gay best friend at age 21 is not a viable option either.

This is a who ok’d this question for the wardrobe department. Where did you get that puffy vest? Because no one is making those anymore. Also, we’re in southern california and we definitely don’t need one of those here.

NO WAY. White/Mexican Raj is heading to Mexico city, and on the bright side of getting deported, they have a “killer art scene” there and he knows some Spanish. “Te quiero.” he tells Ivy, meaning “I want you.” To be clear, he definitely learned that Spanish from the Taco Bell Chihuahua commercials.

Naomi it is so weird for you and Austin to be talking about your feelings for Max. Although I can’t really hear what exactly they are saying because I can’t stop staring at the hot pink embroidery on his shirt, or the rat’s nest on her head. Apparently wardrobe and hair/make up chose to take their hiatus early as well.

ahhhh omg omg omg please stop Naomi. Im cringing. no im not. Im doing the step past cringing, I don’t even know if there is a word for it.

Clearly the CW only has one way to close out a season. A car crash. I think 90210 has done it at least twice, Gossip Girl once, One Tree Hill like 7 times, and last week, Vampire Diaries.

90210 S4E23: Back to Misuse of the L Word

This is going to be good. The “previously on 90210” bit in the beginning reminded me why I blog about this show. First of all, Annie sleeps with a priest-in-training and then he finds out she was a prostitute, Silver got in between Navid and Liam which caused a brawl on a red carpet (which by the way never happens EVER) and Naomi is planning a wedding for the only guy she ever “loved.” Genius story lines people, good work writers.

oh no. and there is the introduction to Nick Carter’s guest appearance. I wish i could avoid it but I just can’t. Also, Madison – Naomi’s connection to your FIANCE is absolutely not even a little bit the same as your past crush on Nick Carter. For many reasons. Nick Carter is a HUGE tool. Also he was “famous” and you admired him from afar as opposed to the serious love interest Max and Naomi had for one another. This is going to be bad (or really good, same thing).

Adriana you are NOT a country singer, or any kind of singer for that matter. Why is this story line still going on? It’s already happened and failed TWICE in the series of this show’s 4 seasons.

I didn’t want to be insensitive, so I googled this to be sure. While there is a test to see if you are at risk for having certain cancers based on your family health history, I cannot understand this plot line surrounding Silver’s “cancer prevention strategy”. Simply continue living your life as you have been and get a mammogram every now and then. Do some self examinations and just be aware. There is no need to let this looming fear take over your life because you MAY get cancer one day. I mean, by the way, everyone MAY get cancer some day. Especially these days when pretty much everything causes cancer. Okay I will be done being insensitive but these made up exaggerated story lines are so frustrating some times (see Dixon’s Adderall addiction).

Max Miller 2.0. Hmmm, not sure what is 2.0 about him other than the rosacea on his face. How convenient for you Austin that  Max’s band cancelled and he needs his connections to the music industry.

By the way, the intro credits just played. Yeah I had that much to say in the first 9 minutes.

Really Max? Adriana is who you needed to use Austins connections for????? WOW. All. New. Lows.

Okay Naomi you thought PJ was the second coming of Chris Pine??????? YEAH RIGHT. In your dreams. PJ isnt even a little bit close to Chris Pine. And to really look into things – you just called Nick Zano with long hair the second coming of Chris Pine. Just saying.

90210 I CANNOT ADDRESS EVERYTHING PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK FOR LIKE 30 SECONDS.

Ivy chill out. Diego aka White Raj being an illegal citizen couldnt be LESS of Annie’s fault.

To all my friends – if you throw my Bachelorette party at an aquarium with high tables and bar stools with people wearing pearls, you are not invited to the wedding.

Way to go female seahorses. Silver’s switch to not knowing if she can have kids because she has to take out her ovaries due to her cancer prevention strategy is SO annoying. You do not have to take out your ovaries because someone in your family had cancer once.

Yeah I can have some fun…kicking your ass in darts. REALLY NAVID??? That’s your go-to threat??? You are going to kick Liam’s ass in darts because he slept with Silver. I’d be scared for sure. I was so upset by this comment that I couldnt address which ever writer chose to write the word “yummers” int o the script. Anyone who says that shouldn’t be allowed to get married.

Adriana please stop singing. You must get a new storyline.

Omg the most upsetting thing just happened to me. Dumb Madison who uses the word “yummers” also just used the word ah-mah-zing. Please do not quote the best show ever (HAPPY ENDINGS) on this trainwreck. UGH.

NO NICK CARTER. I was so offended by the last 30 minutes that I totally forgot this was going to happen even though I addressed it earlier. YOU ARE PLAYING YOURSELF. I can’t. You are so disgusting I am so upset right now.

Sooo after Liam beat Navid at darts, they chose to play pool where Liam won again, now Navid would like to enter a drinking contest with him. Liam’s argument is that he owns the bar so he will win. Navid’s argument is that he went to college and I quote “went to a bar every Thursday after study group and I am going to drink you under the table, Princeton-style.” No way is that an argument. I am pretty sure I could drink you both under the table that was so pathetic.

Naomi’s pant-suit. Hot pink. Cropped. And yet, Adriana is the one im MORE concerned with. Wtf are you wearing? And again, she chose not to brush her hair. What is wrong with you?

Caleb’s dancing. Please return to your Step Up 2 days. Or do not dance at all.

How convenient that everyone was arrested in the same night! Party at the police station.

Caleb and Annie you love each other now?? Oh also white Raj and Ivy love each other too. But let’s be real, that’s just cause Ivy thinks he is real Raj. Speaking of love. Naomi how can you say you still love Max? Last time you saw each other you blew him off for Austin. Just so you know how that went down.  and since Max you’ve “loved” Austin and PJ.