S3E2 Make It or Break It: And Bang Goes the Drum…

So because i have to be so drunk to watch this show, it’s hard remember what happens – but I definitely remember HATING that plain, peppy girl.

And WHERE did Kelly Parker come from?? Was she in the last episode?  And WHY does she wear those buns??? That has to be against regulation.  OH now she’s KP?  mmk pretty sure she isn’t friends with the Rock Girls… Who was in charge of consistency between seasons/episodes?

Okay, so when I googled Kelly Parker buns – THIS little gem from last season came up … and sadly the current buns are a better alternative. This look like hair-horns.

And so weird, I’m still confused where Emily Kmetko is.. and why no one is addressing it.. (but I guess more so than other shows, it’s difficult to pass off a pregnancy as an actress just getting sort of fat when she’s supposed to be wearing a leotard)

Back to episode continuity – are Payson and Lauren NOT friends??  It’s so hard to keep up with this drama.  I now see where my ex-gymnast friend is coming from when she said it’s so stupid and unrealistic that she can’t watch this show because it couldn’t be further from plausible.  It’s like how I feel about Secret Life since I too went to high school, and their version couldn’t be further from reality.  Which brings me back to who is fact-checking at this network??

“During the year we’d email and make each other playlists”…. okay Kaylie. Was this back when she was your boyfriend?? That’s a weird relationship.

I also think Lauren’s hair is against regulation… plus, when you were waking up to a bullhorn at 4 AM when did you have time to curl it?

I can see that the entire cast has fully committed to this brand new nickname of KP… which is pretty equivalent to just saying Kelly – doesn’t really shorten that burden at all, but we can pretend enemies make nicknames for each other. But luckily Austin is totally over KP, and the only skirts he’s chasing are Kaylie’s… Which leads to wonder if the writers have EVER picked up a girl/guy in real life, or even talked to the opposite sex.  THAT would be something I’d enjoy watching.

THIS JUST HAPPENED:

“Oh my gosh, you really are a Baby G”

“Gangsta?”

“NO, GYMNAST”

First of all, I’m sure there is some underlying racist comment in there that I’m going to leave alone, but actually though, WTF are these slang terms and nicknames they keep throwing at us this season?? Really?  Is Baby G actually a term that anyone is familiar with? (Aside from those of us that owned one of those overly large plastic watches in 7th grade?)

And then there is the #JordanvsKaylie hashtag posted at the bottom of the screen… great idea, I’m sure this tantalizing hashtag sparked LOADS of conversation on Twitter.

Oh no!  Poor Lauren!  Apparently she suffered from intense sunburn/fake tanning in between scenes.  But at least she can still pimp Payson out inappropriately. And somehow, the sidekicks HAT has managed to distract me form Lauren’s offensive mission.

Okay, there is nothing less threatening than starting a threat with “gypsy gymnast jerk face”…

So are Payson and biker boy already engaged?  At least going steady, that’s obviously what a ride on his bike pegs means.  And about biker boy (it was hard to identify that he was originally HAT boy) is he REQUIRED to wear that outfit? Or was that a conscious decision? I’m frightened the answer is the latter.

“It wasn’t a date. It was magic.” ABC Family… you DO know that you are poisoning the minds of impressionable teens everywhere, correct?  Yeah? Cool.

Alright, about Austin’s ‘serious plot line’ (since everyone has to have one) — whatever money he missed because he was in a relationship with Kaylie (mmmhm yeah just accepting that) … WHAT POSSIBLE monetary gain can he get from this broadcasting class ??? That doesn’t even make sense!!  OMG their outtakes make me so uncomfortable.  On a positive note, Austin has bad acting down to a real craft.

WHO OK’D LAUREN’S FLORAL ONSIE WITH FURRY BOOTS???

Who is using MAD as a synonym to really???  A surfer bro from the 90s?  Seriously, I’m so confused who is writing this, so far I have anti-social, single, simpletons that are 60 years old and watching some assortment of movies that came out between Clueless and She’s All That on repeat for inspiration, GIRL. OMG i mean, FIERY BABE. Or SISTA (sorry I had to keep updated that last term as the episode went on and more offensive options were at my disposal)

I’m so confused what this assortment of products that were used in Lauren and Payson’s MAKEUP girl fight… I don’t even think a clown’s makeup bag would include that slimy egg product, the questionable blue liquid, white powder,  and that fluorescent pink colored PAINT (seriously don’t even try to tell me that’s lipstick)

Aww the sweet moment between Kaylie and KP at the end learning to “trust each other”…i can only assume that there is some drama to come where KP screws over Kaylie. Just a hunch.  I mean, I’m probably wrong – this show is way less predictable than that.

YES just spotted Step Up 2: The Streets is on and I caught it just in time for the rain/dance scene at the end. Win.

S3E1: Ugh. I Guess I Still Watch This Show

Okay, in contrast to Secret Life, Make It or Break It has now provided ZERO scenes from last season.  And considering I can’t remember TWO years ago, I have no idea what happened further than girls who want to be gymnasts. So… that’s what I’m thinking. Also, I’m adding this later, because it took me about half the episode to determine that Emily Kmetko is not coming back this season.. which by the way is a HUGE change… like wtf. they are seriously not going to address it at all? ! She was the protagonist of the show, and she’s just literally written off the show??? I mean..

It's literally so weird that no one is addressing the absence of the main protagonist in this show.

Nice WordArt circa USA Olympic Training Center – I think that was one of the first things I learned to do on a computer.. very impressive.

THIS IS SO WEIRD. I’m pretty confident you don’t just get to show up at the USA training center … who IS this girl in the truck who  is apparently starved for food?

First of all, this boy must be Chris Zylka’s twin.. they look creepily alike.  And really Lauren?  The altitude is tripping you up???? you’re from DENVER…

Okay, I was right, girl from the truck DID just show up unannounced.  DUHHH girl of course you got turned away. Let’s get serious.  And while we are on it, does this “Olympic training center for all Olympic athletes” actually exist?  Like why do they all need to livein this compound?

I was nervous at first that I was going to be really behind in this show, but I forgot about the lack of complexity that this show has to offer.  I’m okay now.  Even my drunk self can keep up with this simple show.

I’m so impressed they found someone even MORE annoying that Lauren. In fact, someone that even Lauren could be annoyed by… But agreed. that junior girl is the worst. I hope we don’t see her again.

Lauren is anorexic now?  I mean I’m pretty sure that gymnasts are way more dedicated than to get set back by eating disorders.  Boringggg.

Ignoring Nutritionist and Coach’s affair – it’s too typical to address.

So weird, in attempt to write out Josh Bowman, they found the actor who looks as similar to him as possible… yeah I’m onto you ABC Family.

wait stop stop stop stop. new black girl from the truck, is NOT talking to a rabbit living in her bag. I literally WISH i had a comment, but I’m out. I’ve got nothing… And then I see the girl rallying for a spot with her notepad.

HAHHAHAHA their solution to writing off Josh Bowman due to Revenge was making him bisexual in his absence???? this is a joke.seriously?? you didn’t have any other ideas for a better write off??

Okay, I soooo badly wish we could post a video clip of this episode that wouldn’t get taken down due to copyrights, because the scene where Lauren flips onto the roof (aka is a vampire), is so outrageous, i actually thought I was watching the first Twilight. It couldn’t have been less realistic if they tried. I mean… speechless.  And then’s there is the fact that Lauren has superhuman strength to carry the bronze head that SEVEN guys had to carry – good plan.  OMG seriously??? wtf is in this perfume that seriously causes Lauren to have such raging blackouts.

Really?  Choice of burning their WORK OUT JACKETS or NOT being on the Olympic team?  WHO WRITES THIS ?  I honestly don’t even know what to say. I’m baffled by this unnecessary drama, and I watch shows for their unnecessary drama!! and again, due to the lack of adequate scenes from last week – i have NO idea who this Jordan girl is!! she couldn’t mean less to me.

Andddd that’s it. Until next Monday everybody. Can’t wait.